You’ll always hate how your writing used to sound

I’m having a roaring good time cleaning out a writing folder filled with incomplete, half-assed fiction, themed articles on beauty, tech and health, as well as a bunch of incoherent poems, and God knows what else I might unearth. Painful as it is, the Recycle Bin is where they shall all go.

I thought I might have written some gems, but really, most pieces are utter crap. I hate how I sounded five years ago. It was then that I used to contribute very short articles to a now-defunct e-zine for silver-haired folks, as well as a Japanese health and beauty site that has unfortunately gone the way of the dodo. Writing came to me rather easily then – it kills me that I’ve developed a lethal overthinking habit, and I can’t seem to write as quickly and smoothly now. I’m hoping to regain some writing mojo.

To celebrate the purge of my writing folder, here’s a short one I wrote to supplement a campaign for healthier food choices for the older generation. Mind you this was five years ago.

Join me as I cringe and watch this burn.


A Bitter-Sweet Life

Most of us battle sugar-addiction on a daily basis. When feeling tired, stressed out or just plain hungry, we reach for sugar-laden quickies – chocolates, icecream or a doughnut with our coffee.

Bitter foods may not be appetising, but studies have shown that bitter foods stimulate our taste receptors on the tongue, increasing bile flow and nutrient absorption. Nutritionist dietitician Nicole Dube of Halifax, N.S. encourages consumption of bitter foods and herbs as “help to stimulate digestive juices and support food digestion.” Enhanced digestion of bitter vegetables leaves you feeling full and satisfied for much longer than that tempting bar of chocolates.

Hate bitter foods? Here are some bitters that make excellent addition to soups and salads, and when sprinkled over pastas and pizzas, or stuffed in a breakfast wrap.

KALE

(photo http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4408/Top-10-Health-Benefits-of-Eating-Kale.html)

With over 45 different flavonoids in kale being identified by researchers, its antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties helps to relieve chronic inflammation and supports our body’s detoxification system.

ENDIVE

(photo http://www.renaissanceherbs.com.au/herbs-a-z/endive)

Chocked full of phytonutrients, endives support the liver by reducing cholesterol, and balancing our hormones.

PUNTARELLE

(photo http://www.123rf.com/photo_12793588_fresh-puntarelle-vegetable-on-white-background.html)

A member of the chicory family, sometimes known as asparagus chicory, the puntarelle is an Italian favorite that is low in calories and extremely high in vitamin C and B9 density.

RADICCHIO

(photo http://www.iknowvegetables.com/radicchio.html)

Fresh radicchio is one of the excellent sources of vitamin K. Increasing intake of vitamin K has an established role in treatment of patients suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, as it limit neurona damage in the brain.
SPINACH

(photo http://food.sulekha.com/dishimages/24940.jpg)

Lutein, the carotenoid found in spinach, prevents eye diseases such as age-related cataracts and macular degeneration.

The next time you’re craving a sugary boost, think of the healthier bitter alternatives that are in fact, sweeter in the long run.

Need further convincing to eat your bitters? Bitter greens like radicchio, endive, and kale contains phytonutrients that support the liver – the vital organ that stabilizes our hormones, purifies the blood and metabolizes fats.


I cringed, so hard.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

Bed-time musings

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I’m not going to make it
,
but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
― Charles Bukowski

cat in bed

Over drinks on a Friday, I realised being single must be a blessing, because really,

bedd

I mean, if some lady got to marry the Eiffel Tower, I can be legally tied to my bed so that it’s absolute cruelty to force us apart. It took weeks of sleep deprivation, and then a good sleep-in Saturday, for me to realise my greatest love is my own bed.

And if my bed were all these kinds of pretty…I’ll never ever leave it for anything or anyone.

bed22

bed33

queenred
Red Room. Hurhurhur…who else gets the reference?

treebed

forestbed

#randommusings on a Saturday night, before I return to worshipping my other half.

Tata.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

Really Really

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

어디야 집이야 안 바쁨 나와봐
너네 집 앞이야 너에게
하고픈 말이 있어
이걸 어떻게 말을 꺼내야
할진 모르겠지만
이상한 말 아냐 부담 없이 들어줘

지금 내 눈에 제일
아름다운 건 너야 lady
널 향한 내 맘이 돈이면
아마 난 billionaire
널 좋아해

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 믿어줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
널 좋아해
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 받아줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
넌 나 어때

멋지게 골인
프러포즈 같은 세리머니
정해보자 호칭
허니 말고 자기 아님 달링
낯간지럽네 상상해봐도
긴장돼 필요해
a lot of alcohol
덩치는 산만해도
네 앞에선 작아지네
oh 내 맘 알까나

첫눈에 미끄러지듯이
Falling in love
내 맘을 훔친 범인인 건
바로 너
너의 미모 질투해 여신도
내 심장의 떨림은 진동 brrr
치명적인 매력이 날 killin’
섹시해 날 자극하는
Hot chili woo
오해하지 마 나는 진짜
진심으로 채워줄게 너의 빈 잔

지금 내 눈에 제일
아름다운 건 너야 lady
널 향한 내 맘이 돈이면
아마 난 billionaire
널 좋아해

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 믿어줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
널 좋아해
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 받아줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
넌 나 어때

혹시라도 내가
불편하면 let me know
한걸음 뒤로 가
단지 아는 사이로
기다릴 수 있어
너도 나를 좋아할 거 같다 말해줘
지금 당장 만나
나 진심으로 네게 할 말이 있어
[진/윤] 널 좋아해

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 믿어줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
널 좋아해
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
내 맘을 받아줘 OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
넌 나 어때
네가 좋아
REALLY REALLY OH YEAH
널 좋아해

 

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY

Where are you? Home?
If you’re not busy, come out
I’m in front of your house
Wanna tell you something
Don’t know how to say it but
It’s nothing weird, no pressure

The most beautiful thing in my eyes right now
Is you lady
If my feelings for you were money
I’m a billionaire
I like you

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Accept my heart OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
I like you
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Accept my heart OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
What do you think about me?

A cool goal
A ceremony like a propose
Let’s choose our pet names
Honey or baby or darling
It tickles my stomach just thinking about it
I’m nervous
I need alot of alcohol
I may be big
But i grow small in front of you
Do you know how I feel?

At first sight
Falling in love like I’m slipping
The criminal who stole my heart (it’s you)
Youre so beautiful
Even goddesses are jealous of your beauty
My heart trembles like a vibration (brrr)
Your fatal charms are killin me
You’re sexy
Provoking me like hot chili
Don’t misunderstand
I’ll truly fill up your empty glass

The most beautiful thing in my eyes right now
Is you lady
If my feelings for you were money
I’m a billionaire
I like you

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Accept my heart OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
I like you
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Accept my heart OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
What do you think about me?

If i made you uncomfortable
Just let me know
I’ll take a step back
Just be a guy you know
I can wait
Tell me you think you like me too
Let’s meet right now
I have something to tell you
I like you

REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Trust me OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
I like you
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
Accept my heart OH WAH
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
What do you think about me?
I like you
REALLY REALLY OH YEAH
I like you

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Our first collaboration with the talented boys from FulloutSquad! WINNER’s new song has been a big win for us so we tried our best to recreate their dance with a full cast.

We’re also submitting this video for the WINNER x genie cover dance contest and would really appreciate your support + love!

Members:
Jinwoo – Kelvin (@gytuan)
Seungyoon – Daryl (@_daebakdaryl)
Seunghoon – Scott (@scottiemawn)
Mino – Javier (@hynsae)

Dancers:
Kris (@mrsxxmicky)
Peiwen (@wynne.wen)
Xiaoman (@celesteyiap)
Yuzhen (@silhouettekiss)
Youwen (@youwenny)
Amanda (@theephemerality)
Xingyi (@starphis)
Felicia (@chingching11)

——————————————————————————————–
Follow us on:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/theofficialssenze
——————————————————————————————–

Videography/Editing: Sam (@kirinboi)

This song was originally sang and performed by WINNER (걸스데이).
All rights belong to the respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

xoxo,

Viktoria Jean

I’ll Be Yours

지금 뭐해? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
갖고 싶지? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

ooh wee baby 뭐가 그리
겁이 나니?
좀 더 다가와 봐
저기부터 벌써 내 앞까지
check it on me
따라만 올 거니?

자꾸만 헷갈리게
나를 밀고 당기지
어느새 빠져들지
망설이단 나를 놓칠걸 whoo

oh 왜 내가 좋은지 들려줘
애만 태우지 말고 웃어봐
남자답게 더 쿨하게 말해봐

지금 뭐해? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
갖고 싶지? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
네 눈에서 뚝 떨어지는
꿀처럼 더 달콤하게
말해줄게 I’ll be yours

ooh wee baby 감탄하겠지
반짝이는 Me
Like a popping champagne
때론 chic 하게 바꿔도 좋지
또 부드럽게
매력을 펼치지

어서 눈을 감고서
주사위를 굴려봐
어디로든 괜찮아
결국 내게 오게 될테니 whoo

Oh 복잡한 생각을 비워봐
어색한 네 마음도 던져봐
남자답게 네 진심을 말해봐

지금 뭐해? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
갖고 싶지? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
네 눈에서 뚝 떨어지는
꿀처럼 더 달콤하게
말해줄게 I’ll be yours

Come On Baby
내게 좀 더 다가와봐
내 모든걸 Boy 가지라 하지
너도 절대 싫지 않은거를 알아
right right
내게 빠져 inside

주문을 걸어 up and down
사르르 녹아 버릴 night
1, 2 step 1, 1, 2 step
이젠 촛불을 끄고서
소원을 빌어봐

baby 코 끝에서 맴돈
Flower 향기처럼 널 간지럽힐래
어딜 가도 잊을 수 없게

baby 귓가에서 맴돈 소리처럼
내 목소릴 따라올래?
Feel so good Oh yeah-

내 맘 원해? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
갖고 싶지? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
콕 찍어서 네 입술 끝에
은근슬쩍 가져가지
말해 뭐해? I’ll be yours

What’re you doing right now? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Want me? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

ooh wee baby
What’re you so scared of?
Come closer
From all the way over there. Till you’re in front of me
check it on me
Are you just gonna follow behind?

You keep confusing me
Playing games with me
Suddenly, I’ve fallen for you
If you hesitate, you’ll lose me

Tell me why you like me
Don’t just make me antsy, smile
Be a man, be cool and tell me

What’re you doing right now? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Want me? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Like the honey that drips from your eyes
I’ll tell you more sweetly
I’ll be yours

ooh wee baby
You’ll be in awe
Cuz it’s the dazzling me
Like a popping champagne
Sometimes being chic is good
Softly, I’ll show you my charms

Close your eyes
Throw the dice
Wherever you want
Because it’ll come to me in the end

Empty out your complicated thoughts
Throw away your awkwardness
Be a man, tell me how you really feel

What’re you doing right now? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Want me? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Like the honey that drips from your eyes
I’ll tell you more sweetly
I’ll be yours

Come On Baby
come a little closer
I’m telling you boy, to have all of me
I know you don’t hate it
right right
Fall into me, inside

Cast a spell up and down
Softly melting night
1, 2 step 1, 1, 2 step
Now blow the candles
Make a wish

baby, like the flower scent at the tip of your nose
I wanna tickle you
So you won’t forget me wherever you go

baby like the sound that lingers in your ears
Wanna follow my voice?
Feel so good Oh yeah-

Want my heart? I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
Want me? I’ll be yours
Maybe I’ll be yours

Wait a minute! I’ll be yours
Baby I’ll be yours
I’ll aim and slowly take it to your lips
What’s more to say?
I’ll be yours

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We couldn’t resist the song when it’s so catchy. Heels are definitely not one of our strengths but you’ll enjoy our cover just the same!

Subscribe and stay tuned for more coming your way!
And also, our 6th collaboration with MarvinPD! Don’t forget to check out his facebook and youtube channel!

Videography/Editing: Marvin PD
Find him on instagram: @myeyecandies15
Find him on Facebook: facebook.com/myeyecandies

——————————————————————————————–
Follow us on:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/theofficialssenze
——————————————————————————————–
Members:
Sojin – Kris (@mrsxxmicky)
Yura – Peiwen (@wynne.wen)
Minah – Xiaoman (@celesteyiap)
Hyeri – Yuzhen (@silhouettekiss)

Thanks to our ssenze fairies (Amanda, Youwen & Xingyi) for coming down to help with the music and lighting!

This song was originally sang and performed by Girl’s Day (걸스데이).
All rights belong to the respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

 

Say My Name

Any other day
I would call, you would say,
“Baby, how’s your day?”
But today, it ain’t the same
Every other word is “Uh huh”, “Yeah, okay”
Could it be that you are at the crib with another lady
If you took it there
First of all let me say
I am not the one to sit around and be played
So prove yourself to me
I’m the girl that you claim
Why don’t you say the things
That you said to me yesterday

I know you say that I am assuming things
Something’s going down, that’s the way it seems
Shouldn’t be no reason why you’re acting strange
If nobody’s holding you back from me
‘Cause I know how you usually do
Where you’re saying everything to me times two
Why can’t you just tell the truth
If somebody’s there, then tell me who

Say my name, say my name
When no one is around you,
Say baby I love you
If you ain’t runnin’ game
Say my name, say my name
You actin’ kinda shady,
Ain’t callin’ me baby
Why the sudden change?

Say my name, say my name
If no one is around you,
Say baby I love you
If you ain’t runnin’ game
Say my name, say my name
You actin’ kinda shady,
Ain’t callin’ me baby
Better say my name

Videography/Editing: Marvin PD
Find him on instagram: @myeyecandies15
Find him on Facebook: facebook.com/myeyecandies

——————————————————————————————–
Follow us on:
Instagram:  @theofficialssenze
——————————————————————————————–

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

I will have your heart right now 너의 맘을 갖겠어 지금이야

탕탕탕 we’re back with our 4th collaboration with the lovely MarvinPD님 for a cover of ‘FINGERTIP’ by GFRIEND.

It took us ages to even get 1% near their neatness, but we tried. They be slayin’ with this choreography!

Videography/Editing: Marvin PD
Find him on instagram: @myeyecandies15
Find him on Facebook: facebook.com/myeyecandies

——————————————————————————————–
Follow us on:
Instagram: @theofficialssenze
——————————————————————————————–
Members:
SinB – Kris (@mrsxxmicky)
Eunha – Youwen (@youwenny)
Umji – Peiwen (@wynnewen)
Yerin – Xiaoman (@celesteyiap)
Sowon – Yuzhen (@silhouettekiss)
Yuju – Xingyi (@starphis)

Many many thanks to Amanda & Paopao for coming down to help with the music and lighting.
This song was originally sang by GFRIEND (여자친구).
All rights belong to the respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

xoxo,

Viktoria Jean

>>>>>>>>

오늘 난 특별해
설레는 시작이야
왠지 알 수 없는
두근거림에 끌려
사뿐한 발걸음
오늘따라 괜찮은
느낌이라 좋아
예감이 다 좋아

(어떻게) 방심한 순간
oh 이건 말도 안돼
(그렇게) 날 보는 눈빛이
너무 완벽해
아무 흠이 없는
너를 가리킨 순간
내 것이 될 것 같아

탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
네 맘을 겨눌게
탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
심장이 멈추게
뭐 어때 네 곁에
더 다가가볼게
손 끝에 네가 있어
FINGER FINGERTIP
FINGER FINGERTIP

그래 너의 맘을 갖겠어 지금이야
시작해 완벽해
준비는 이미 끝났어

그 짧은 시간에
내 맘에 들어왔어
너 빼고 아무도
보이지도 않았어
한 걸음 다가가
너를 스치는 순간
느낌이 다 좋아
확실히 다가가

(123) 시간이 갈수록
열리는 fantasy
(321) 이 넓은 공간에
가득 가득해
아무 빈틈없는
너를 가리킨 순간
내 것이 될 것 같아

탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
네 맘을 겨눌게
탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
심장이 멈추게
뭐 어때 네 곁에
더 다가가볼게
손 끝에 네가 있어
FINGER FINGERTIP

오랫동안 기다린
순간에도 태연하게
그 누구도 모르게
눈치채지도 못하게
손짓하나 까딱까딱
네 맘을 조종할게
시간이 째깍째깍
다 가기 전에 다가와 1234

정말 어쩌지
널 조준했던 순간
사랑에 빠질 것 같아

탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
네 맘을 겨눌게 (맘을 겨눌게)
탕탕탕 FINGERTIP
심장이 멈추게 (심장이 멈추게)
뭐 어때 네 곁에
더 다가가볼게 (다가가볼게 )
손 끝에 네가 있어
FINGER FINGERTIP
FINGERFINGER TIP
그래 너의 맘을 갖겠어
지금이야
손 끝에 네가 있어
FINGER FINGERTIP

 

Today, I feel special
It’s a heart-fluttering beginning
I’m being pulled by a mysterious
pounding in my heart
My footsteps are light
I feel good today,
I like it
I have a good feeling

(What do I do) The moment I let down my guard
This can’t be
(Like that) The way you look at me
Is so perfect
The flawless you
The moment I pointed at
You became mine

Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
I will aim for your heart
Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
So your heart can stop
Who cares?
I’m gonna go closer to you
At the tip of my finger, you are there
FINGER FINGERTIP
FINGER FINGERTIP

I will have your heart right now
Let’s start, this is perfect
I’m all ready now

In that short time
You entered my heart
Besides you,
I can’t see anything
I’ll take a step toward you
The moment I pass by
The feeling is so good
I’m certain, I’ll go to you

(123) The more time passes
The more this fantasy opens
(321) In this wide space
You fill it up
The flawless you
The moment I pointed at the flawless you
You became mine

Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
I will aim for your heart
Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
So your heart can stop
Who cares?
I’m gonna go closer to you
At the tip of my finger, you are there
FINGER FINGERTIP

Though I waited for
This moment for a long time
I’ll be calm so no one will know
So no one will even notice
I’ll make one movement with my hands
To control your heart
Time goes tick tock
Before it passes, come to me, 1234

What do I do?
The moment I controlled you
I fell in love

Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
I will aim for your heart
Bang bang bang FINGERTIP
So your heart can stop
Who cares?
I’m gonna go closer to you
At the tip of my finger, you are there
FINGER FINGERTIP
FINGER FINGERTIP
Yeah, I’ll have your heart
This is the time
At the tip of my finger, you are there
FINGER FINGERTIP

Baby, me like yuh

I can only do right by ya
I won’t ever go deceive ya
I’d even dye my hair blonde for ya
I can be your Justin Bieber
Gimme that work like you RiRi
Girl, pop it like three D
Your wish is like genies
Oh let me see that thing baby
Trust me
This is the moment you been waiting for, girl all your life
Tell your friends that you don’t need a ride home
‘Cause I got you tonight
The Uber’s on the way
‘Cause I had a couple drinks tonight
But I’m more drunk off of your love
Baby I just can’t get enough
So baby girl
Wake up, wake up, let’s get it started
Stay up, stay up, girl I’ll be on it
Don’t go to bed, unless you go with me
Phone blowing up, I’ma let the hotline bling
Girl
Baby, me like yuh
I’ll make you feel so good
Do you just like I should
I hope you know it
I hope
Me Like Yuh (Korean) – ft Hoody
It’s a perfect night.
너무나 완벽한 밤이야
I am crazy in your move
네 움직임에 나는 미쳐
Come a little closer.
조금 더 가까이 다가와
I’m waiting for you.
애타게 기다리고 있어
gimme that work like you Riri
Girl you are my genie
girl 너는 내 genie
make your wishes true
난 소원을 빌지
oh lemme see that thing baby
Now is the time
지금 이순간이
That’s the time I’ve been waiting.
내가 기다려왔던 그 시간이야
When I look at my gestures
나의 몸짓을 보면
I have a sense of what you want.
니가 뭘 원하는지 감이 와
Keep dancing.
춤을 계속 춰
I’m not tired all night.
밤새도록 안 피곤하니까
I was drunk in your eyes.
네 눈빛에 난 취했어
I do not want to break forever
영원히 안 깨고 싶어
so baby girl
wake up wake up
let’s get it started
stay up stay up girl
I be on it
Do not go home. stay with me.
집 가지마 나랑은 괜찮아
I’ll lead you so baby come.
리드할게 so baby 따라와
baby me like yuh
Irresistible
거부할 수 없는
how you look now
너의 지금 모습
I hope you know it
Woo
As if to be held
마치 홀린 것같이
In front of you
어느새 네 앞에
Stand up I do not know
서있어 나도 모르게
Unable to draw
이끌려 알 수 없게
It’s not what I expected.
예상 못 한 건 아니야
I waited for today.
오늘만 기다렸어
oh let me see that ting baby
Now this moment
지금 이 순간은
I do not need any lights.
어느 조명도 여긴 필요 없어
The two of us exchange
우리 둘이 주고받는
our eye contact is enough.
눈빛이면 충분하니까
Woo You have me before
Woo 아까 네가 건넨
I’m not drunk.
술에 취한 게 아니라
I was drunk in your eyes.
네 눈빛에 난 취했어
I do not want to break forever
영원히 안 깨고 싶어
you know
you know
wake up wake up
let’s get it started
stay up stay up girl
I be on it
Do not go home. stay with me.
집 가지마 나랑은 괜찮아
I’ll lead you so baby come.
리드할게 so baby 따라와
baby me like yuh
Irresistible
거부할 수 없는
how you look now
너의 지금 모습
I hope you know it
I feel a cool breeze
시원한 바람이 느껴져
I want to be here forever
여기서 난 영원하고 싶어
The sky is coming down on us.
하늘이 우릴 내려봐
That star is shining
저 별이 빛나도
your my star
my star
baby me like yuh
Irresistible
거부할 수 없는
how you look now
너의 지금 모습
baby me like yuh
Irresistible
거부할 수 없는
how you look now
너의 지금 모습
I hope you know it

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

3 ways to wear Swarovski Crystal Pixie Nail Art!

Swarovski Crystal Pixie nail art is the manicure industry’s best kept secret. It’s still popular in Japan and the States, but strangely this style is quite rare in Singapore. I have seen some gorgeous pictures on Instagram so I was really excited when Vanitee matched me up with a lovely manicurist, Janelle from Nailbuddies, who gave me a very rare Swarovski Crystal Pixie gel manicure!

You may be wondering – what on earth are Swarovski Crystal Pixies? They are tiny round crystals mixed with other bullions, and serve as little pretty gems to adorn your nail art. So you may choose to highlight one finger, or bling out all 10 of them (thumbs included). I swear, they are much shinier, lighter and sturdier than your average plastic nail gems. After my experience, I decided to write this piece about 3 ways to wear the Swarovski Crystal Pixie Nail Art!

Janelle has 2 types of this: the dark and light crystals. I chose to use the light ones this time, but it really depends on what base colour you choose, and which crystal will complement it best.

Anyway, more about Nailbuddies! Janelle offers a convenient home-based service, so you may select from her range of available dates. If you’re an Eastie, her home in Tampines Street 84 (psst…please see the app for her full address) is just 3 bus-stops always from the interchange. If you’re lost, just give Janelle a direct ping in the Vanitee chat and she will give you directions!

I arrived at Janelle’s place for the first time, and was invited into her spacious, private manicure haven. Her manicure workspace is so comfortable and I felt right at home. Plus Janelle is so chatty and friendly, I felt at ease being in a stranger’s room! Right away, I could feel her passion and expertise with the number of tools and gel bottles in her room.
Choosing from her stash of gel colours is really not easy – her collection is amazing!! This is just some of it:

I picked the dark, starry midnight steel blue (which already naturally bling because I love glittery nails!), and Janelle got right to work. First she patiently removed my DIY-ed gelish nails, then trimmed my nails into nice round shapes, before buffing and taming my messy cuticles. I applaud her skills! She really saved my ugly nails.

See? She’s giving my nails some TLC (won’t show you her face, till she gives me full permission!)

Following the TLC, she gave my nails 2 layers of base colour. Then she takes out some very delicate skinny tools to begin glueing the Swarovski Crystal Pixies. So fascinating!

I cannot emphasis how carefully she placed the crystals on my fingernails, and arranges them artistically. It’s like a surgery going on in here!

She actually pours the crystals onto the fingernails that require more crystals, as this gives a more even effect.

In the span of 2.5 hours, my nails were done! Revealing the full pictures in 3…2….1…

So for your next nail adventure, why don’t you try these 3 amazing ways to wear the Swarovski Crystal Pixies?

1. Forming Shapes with the crystals

With a silver sticker strip, a triangle was first shaped, before filling it up with crystals. This is my personal favourite because of the endless possibilities! Yes shape anything you want. You will never get bored.

2. Crystal Clusters

Spot the crystal clusters! Yes these are on my index finger (top hand), and middle finger (bottom hand). Love how the crystal are clustered near my cuticles to give variety to the texture.  These subtle differences lets your nails stand out from everyone else’s boring old matte patterns. (But no offence, I have days when I just want matte black nails)

3. Pairing Crystals with Bigger Gems

If you’re looking to go over-the-top, Swarovski Crystal Pixies will be able to help. When paired with chunkier gems, the effect is crazy – I swear it’s the first thing people see when I wave to them, in the dark, 5 feet away.

See how the bling-bling gems stand out in this full-manicure shot?

Swarovski Crystal Pixies really helped to add a gorgeous shiny glow, and an interesting bumpy 3D effect. Sometimes I wash my hair, and I can feel the crystals on my head – it’s like a scalp massage! (Not kidding) Or maybe I’m biased because I’m loving it so much.

Really enjoyed my manicure session with Janelle from Nailbuddies. Learnt from her many tips and tricks that she willingly shares, which include: a manicure must always end with capping the outer edges with a layer of finish! Also, if topping up your manicure with Swarovski Crystal Pixies, you don’t actually need a top coat. Her skills with the crystals are amazing and if you have never tried the Swarovski Crystal Pixies, I strongly encourage you to. She’s available at @nailbuddies on Instagram and Vanitee app!

It’s super easy to book a session from Vanitee! There are beauty offers from nails, hair, brow and lash, makeup and hairstyling and facial treatments uploaded daily from over 1,700 beauty salons! It’s truly Singapore’s #1 app for booking beauty services. And conveniently, you can also see customer reviews and view the artists’ portfolios on the app itself, by simply clicking on their profiles! And as I mentioned, you get to chat direct with the artist, so you can get your requests way in advance. Like for my session, Janelle checked with me way in advance the type of design I wanted. Sounds good right? On top of that, you can earn rewards from booking on the app too! Sign up with my link <<viktol1>> and get $15 OFF any beauty services! Download the Vanitee app now from www.vanitee.com!
Anyway, here are some screenshots of the app to illustrate. When you search for “Nailbuddies”, this page should surface:

When you click “Portfolio”, you get to view photos of the work that she has done for her past clients. That’s right – she does Tsum Tsum nail art!

Under reviews, you can also view what others have said about your artist. I gave Janelle an honest review, with some pictures for reference. You can view it on her page!

Looking forward to my next manicure session, and to try new patterns using the Swarovski Crystal Pixies. Have already booked my next session with Nailbuddies!

If you have pictures after your Swarovski Crystal Pixie sessions, do share! 🙂

Xoxo,
Viktoria Jean
P.S. Sharing a bonus picture I took with Janelle’s pup!! He’s totally adorable, and is usually kept away when strangers or customers come. Special case only that he is let out to play with me 🙂

 

Yes No Maybe

Yes, no….. maybe?

In any case, we loved both Mina Myoung’s choreography and Suzy’s stage choreography so we mashed them up a little.

Back with another one, and hope you guys like it ❤

Dancers:
Kris (@mrsxxmicky)
Youwen (@youwenny)
Peiwen (@wynne.wen)
Xiaoman (@celesteyiap)
Yuzhen (@silhouettekiss)
Xavier (xvrlum)

Psst…follow us on Instagram for more!

Yes No Maybe

받지마 알잖아
목소릴 들으면
분명히 내 맘이
또 다시 흔들려
잠깐만 얘기만
나누려 했지만 했지만

Yes no maybe
도대체 내 맘이 뭔지
다신 너를 안 보려 해도
또 너에게 가고 있어
이젠 no more baby
이러는 나를 난 hate me
너를 안 볼 수가 없어
그런데 볼 수도 없어

Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes

가지마 돌아가 만나면
알잖아 또 빠져들어가

Yes no maybe
도대체 내 맘이 뭔지
다신 너를 안 보려 해도
또 너에게 가고 있어
이젠 no more baby
이러는 나를 난 hate me
너를 안 볼 수가 없어
그런데 볼 수도 없어

언제까지 이럴 순 없잖아
끝이 뻔한 길을
계속 걸어갈 수는 없잖아
가면 안 되는 길을
되풀이 하는 내 모습을 봐
이런 내가 이해가 안가

Yes no maybe
도대체 내 맘이 뭔지
다신 너를 안 보려 해도
또 너에게 가고 있어
이젠 no more baby
이러는 나를 난 hate me
너를 안 볼 수가 없어
그런데 볼 수도 없어

Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes
Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes

하지마
마지막이라고 하면서도
또 다시

 

Translation

Don’t pick up
I know when
I hear your voice
My heart will shake again
Though I tried to
Just talk to you

Yes no maybe
I don’t know my heart
I try to not see you ever again
But I’m going to you again
Now no more baby
I hate myself for doing this, hate me
I can’t not see you
But I can’t see you either

Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes

Don’t go, if you go
You know you’ll fall for him again

Yes no maybe
I don’t know my heart
I try to not see you ever again
But I’m going to you again
Now no more baby
I hate myself for doing this, hate me
I can’t not see you
But I can’t see you either

I can’t keep doing this
The end is so obvious
I can’t keep walking on this path
This path I shouldn’t be on
I see myself going back on it
I don’t understand myself

Yes no maybe
I don’t know my heart
I try to not see you ever again
But I’m going to you again
Now no more baby
I hate myself for doing this, hate me
I can’t not see you
But I can’t see you either

Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes
Yes no no yes no
No yes yes no yes

Don’t do this
I tell myself this is the last time
But yet again

 

This song was originally sang by Suzy.
All rights belong to the respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

Hobgoblin (도깨비) – Concept Video

Our concept video collaboration with MarvinPD님 (@myeyecandies15) is out!

Truly enjoyed the filming process for this one with my special SSENZE girls. Big shoutout to our crewmate Bev, who has returned to Korea for her studies, but managed to film this while she was back in Singapore for a short while.

Don’t forget to check out our dance practice ver of Hobgoblin here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXka3j3-50

Credits
Videography/Editing: Marvin PD!

Members
Beverley (@berlyhong)
Youwen (@youwenny)
Peiwen (@wynne.wen)
Amanda (@theepheramality)
Xiaoman (@celesteyiap)
Yuzhen (@silhouettekiss)
Kris (@mrsxxmicky)

Follow us on:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/theofficialssenze

This song was originally sang by CLC (씨엘씨).
All rights belong to the respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

Decalcomanie 데칼코마니 – Concept Video

Remember the dance teaser I’d blogged about?

Actual dance version and concept video below!

SSENZE 쎈ZE [DANCE COVER] DECALCOMANIE (데칼코마니) – MAMAMOO (마마무)

SSENZE 쎈ZE [DANCE VER] Decalcomanie (데칼코마니) – MAMAMOO (마마무)

Big thanks to Marvin PD (again!), as well as my Ssenze girls!

Regardless of how tired I am, they never fail to cheer me up ❤

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

Decalcomanie 데칼코마니

SSENZE 쎈ZE [TEASER] DECALCOMANIE (데칼코마니) – MAMAMOO (마마무)

Dropping a teaser of what’s to come. Do subscribe and stay tuned for the full dance cover!

Loving the video effects and edits from Marvin! Big shout out – he’s an amazing videographer. And big big thanks to our little helpers Beverley and Jia Rong for being our music and lighting fairies.

And of course, life is never boring with these girls (not the full strength, by the way).

Thanks for watching!

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

April Story – wait isn’t it February?

Happy Lunar New Year everybody!

It’s only February, but already I’m way too excited for the rest of year and can’t wait to live it. Spring’s return is the annual promise of hope and renewal, of abundance of laughter and joy. Growing up, Lunar New Year meant extra cash from angpaos, and waking up early on Chu Yi to pay respect to my elders. The true joys of it only hit me as I advanced in my 20s. I watched my loved ones grow old while the young ones of my generation have taken over their vitality. I really began to take less for granted. The clock ticks on even as you’re hating every moment of mingling awkward with your relatives, uncles and aunties for 2 hours of your life. That’s 2 hours of your life you’re never getting back. So why not make full use of it, and gift them with the best present that is worth more than a lifetime of angpao money? Your time. Cherish every second of it. Every minute you spend getting older is one step further to becoming a better person.

Here’s a really short video by SSENZE to celebrate Spring, especially the coming of April which is the cusp of a new season. This was a quick one with less than 3 practices, but we really enjoyed celebrating Spring. And if you ever google for the translated lyrics, it’s actually a really sad love story.

Hope you enjoy, and thanks for watching!

Gong xi fa cai!

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

>>>>

APRIL – April Story

언제인지 모를 참 오래전 얘기
소녀는 아무 말도 할 수 없었대
시간이 흐르고 또 계절이 가도
여전한 그 마음 어떻게든 숨겼대
행복해 보여
그 모습조차 미워질 만큼
점점 커져가는 마음
전하지 못할 비밀이 됐대요
봄의 나라에 사는 그 소녀는
얼음 나라의 멋진 소년을 보았죠
겨울 나라의 예쁜 그녀 곁에서
늘 웃고 있는 그 모습을
아름다운 맘을 억지로 숨기고
아름다운 둘을 위해 기도를 했대요
서로의 맘이 변하지 않기를
하늘에 매일 빌었대요 마치 나처럼
행복해 보여
그 모습조차 미워질 만큼
정말 어쩔 수 없는 마음
또 바보처럼 혼자서 달래요
봄의 나라에 사는 그 소녀는
얼음 나라의 멋진 소년을 보았죠
서로의 맘이 변하지 않기를
하늘에 매일 빌었대요 마치 나처럼
아픈 동화 속 얘기가
모두 내 얘기 같았어
다른 봄이 오길 바래요
난 그래요
억지로 숨겨둔 내 맘이 닿을까 봐
항상 혼자만 앓아요
봄의 나라에 사는 그 소녀는
얼음 나라의 멋진 소년을 보았죠
겨울 나라의 예쁜 그녀 곁에서
늘 웃고 있는 그 모습을
아름다운 맘을 억지로 숨기고
기적처럼 다 지워지기를 바라죠
아무 마음 없던 그 날이 오기를
하늘에 매일 빌었대요 마치 나처럼

This is a short post about Christmas

‘Tis the season to be reminded that quality time with your loved ones are the best gifts you can afford, which no amount of money can ever replace.

Cheers to all the old souls who will never be too old for log cakes, stories by the fireplace, midnight cookies and milk, and all of Christmas’ novelties.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE ❤

Dedicating this little one-take dance piece by SSENZE (filmed with the help of Marvin PD-nim!) to everyone out there who’s never stopped believing in the magic of Christmas.

Enjoy.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

A Better Florist

Only the freshest flowers for my dear mother on Mothers’ Day, and where better to get fresh floral cuts than A Better Florist? Specially curated, hand-made arrangements can be whisked to your doorstep with a few simple clicks.
A Beter Florist, Singapore, Viktoria Jean
A Better Florist, Singapore, Viktoria Jean
Blue Roses to fend off those weekday blues:
Blue Roses, A Better Florist, Singapore, Viktoria Jean
Blue Roses, A better florist, Singapore, Viktoria Jean
A Better Florist, Singapore, Viktoria Jean
Don’t wait to show your mom and others around you some love! Use promo code “viktoriamum” to get $10 off your purchases.
xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

A Gentle Rocking Breeze

Out of the blue, she was missing him tonight.

It was almost a year since their last text (12th April, to be very exact). This she affirmed with the texting app, and at that moment she scrolled to his chat, he was ‘Online’. When they say technology was a bane of romance there weren’t a single ounce of lies. If goodbyes were solely based on letters and a huge sigh, she wouldn’t hate herself for not typing ‘Hi’. She wished he were simply gone for good, so she wouldn’t be tempted to check on his life. Instead, he was virtually haunting her mind, living within the very best memories that belonged to another time.

Every single guy she dated since could never match up to his humour, genuine personality and unpretentious charm. Despite lying to her face the very first time they met, he never told her another lie. And despite thinking that she would always be a cold-hearted person, she dearly missed him. She missed his good-mornings and goodnights. She missed knowing he would always have her back. She missed his promise that he would always be her very best friend. She missed typing furiously at her phone and hanging on to every written word from the other side.

She couldn’t watch a funny shihtzu video on YouTube now without tearing up a little because that used to be his pet name. She couldn’t drink another beer with a ridiculous name without recalling he’d bought her a ‘Fucking Hell’ on their very first date. On that same day, they shared a salty 4-cheese pizza and till date, that dish still takes her back to that night (‘so cheesy! How do we finish this?’). As a human GPS, their very first joke was her telling him to turn left instead of right, and perhaps she never wanted to stop being a terrible navigator, so she would always relive that inside joke in her mind.

Night cycling would never be the same for her, if he weren’t riding by her side from dusk to dawn. She would never forget lying with him on the break barriers of the sea just watching the stars and talking about life. She would always recall the salty breeze on her face as she laid so close to the ocean, with her head on his bag, and he would sneak little glances at her as though she wouldn’t realise. Her favourite food never tasted the same since they last shared it on a dirty bench in a deserted park in the middle of the night. She would always remember sitting at the backseat of his car and all he wanted to do was hold her hand. She sorely missed the right fit of his palm to hers, and the painfully shy way he first held it, and told her he was never letting go. Good times were simply endless conversations in every dark, quiet spot they managed to find. And even now she could recall every word of their last heart-to-heart.

People, she realised, could be so vastly different, yet have so much they could build in common. For the very first time, she thought she could be falling in love. She regretted the very first letter she wrote for him – the very act of penning a letter was an important gesture, and she was sharing a significant bit of her core. It was then she discovered her biggest fear was destroying his heart. Perhaps the very thought of their perfect fit scared her too much. She always knew the pen was her most lethal tool, and with another letter she carved out their tangible, irreversible distance.

Even with impossible differences, they thought they could be friends.

She always doubted herself since, thinking that to end it all on her terms was a very selfish move. After all, perhaps this was ‘the right guy’, at the wrong time. So she gave it time.

Promises were as easily broken as they were made. This she knew. She knew a year would make a big difference, let alone 4 years – he wouldn’t possibly remember to come back for her in 4 long years. There would be too much to bridge within that time when they weren’t even bothering to speak, or catch up. No ‘Happy Birthdays’, ‘How are you?’, or simply ‘I hope you’re doing fine.’

She could say ‘Let’s catch up now,’ but some distances were simply too great. So she would resort to re-reading their texts, his letter, and the diaries she wrote when they were more than friends.

 

Tonight she sat at their familiar spot, moon-gazing to a gentle rocking breeze.

Was it a little bit of salt she could taste in the air?

 

—-

 

P.S. There are fine lines between fiction and fact.
You decide what’s real and what’s merely written text.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

 

An Uber Encounter, An Epiphany

The probability of ever getting a ride on the same cab with the same driver in Singapore, within a month, is approximately less than 5%, assuming 15 rides per month and official statistics as of August 2015: the current fleet of taxis in SG being 28,404, with 2 or 3 shift-based cabbies are tied to a vehicle (~70,000 drivers), and P(n,k)=1−(n!/n^k(nk)!).

Don’t quote me on that. Math was never my strong point. Plus the statistics of which is not important to the story I’m about to tell.

Couple of nights ago: 4:35am 

I start my workday at the wee hours of morning, at the end of a typical graveyard shift. As always, I book a cab from  Uber or GrabTaxi, with the former being my preferred app, right before stepping out from the door. The driver was already waiting for me  at the sheltered drop-off. When I get in, he says: “Hello. Remember me? I drove you. Last last week.”

He’s a bespectacled Malay man in his 50s. Although he does not smile or look me in the eye as he revs up the car, his verbal acknowledgement was already a nice gesture.

“Yea I remember!” But honestly I don’t.

“You know how I remember? I see same pickup address, you also going to Central, and I see your Dad – downstairs to see you off, just like last time. I think to myself – same one!”

I laugh. That’s right. Uber drivers between 2 – 5am in my residential area revolved around the same handful anyway. It’s no surprise he’s driven me twice.

“Why you go to work so early? F&B?”

And so goes the long explanation of why despite working in a corporate office, I’m part of a team of shift-work warriors.

The cabbie laughs at this point, says “You must be earning more than usual la. This kind of timing you work, so hard, how you sleep in the afternoon?”

And we go back and forth with ways we both try to stay awake. His shifts are from 4ish in the morning to 3pm. The conversation shifted to his daughter who works at the DNATA, Changi Airport, who’s shift only ends a little past midnight. By the time she reaches home, it’s usually 2am.

“You see, your father come downstairs send you to work. Very sweet of him. I also, want to send my daughter to work, but no chance la. We difference shift. Everyday only see her 1 or 2 hours, if I wake up early, otherwise, don’t even see her.”

“Do you send her home sometimes?”

“No la, airport provide transport. She la, follow my footsteps. I also work at airport DNATA for 20 over years before becoming a taxi driver. She always wanted to work at airport. Her choice la. Want to spend time with her, I wake up 3 hours earlier to eat with her. She supper I breakfast. Sometimes I wake up, she too tired, she just sleep. Cannot spend time together.”

And then it dawned on me: perhaps dad just wants to spend a little more time with me. When I was a stewardess and even now as an analyst working on shifts, Dad makes the effort to get out of bed at the most insane timings, whenever it’s dark and creepy outside, just so he could (a) help me with my hugeass luggage, (b) make sure I don’t get attacked by stray dogs in my hood, (c) prevent me getting kidnapped, even though I’m physically more able to drop-kick somebody in comparison to my Dad, and (d) take down the taxi car-plate, remember the taxi driver’s face and flash cabbies the ‘nobody-messes-with-my-daughter’ face, in case somehow I do end up missing. Perhaps it’s all of the above, and a very simple fact that he just wishes to spend a little time with me.

For 2 years, I was never chatty while waiting for my taxi. I was always anxious to report for flight. Usually I’d taken too long to pack/makeup/paint my nails/eat or just plain procrastinated till the last minute. Sometimes, being the headstrong independent person I tend to be, I got impatient and insisted on rolling the luggage by myself as I am very used to carrying my own luggage. But thinking back, there was never a time I was left alone to wait for taxis by my own, in the dead of the night. My almost 70-year-old Dad waits with me.

It’s crazy how lucky I am for this little sacrifices (of sleep and time) from my loved ones. I’d taken these acts for granted., thinking Dad would always be my ‘cab companion’, so instead of talking to him, I’m usually too tired and grouchy to speak, having been disrupted from a healthy night’s sleep. Maybe another time. Just like how the cabbie’s daughter falls asleep thinking that there’d always be another supper with her daddy, when her dad has already woken up prepared to spend time with her. But what I often forget, is that just like how the cabbie sacrifices his sleep to see his daughter, Dad wakes up in the middle of the night to see me off too.

Often we don’t get the luxury of the same chances, over and over again. And because I do, I’ve been really blessed.

Amazing how a simple chat with an Uber driver could bring such clarity.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

P.S. On a side note, I was in Bangkok for a short getaway last week, and instead of hailing cabs off the street, I used UberX for all of my solo transport needs. Guess what? Each trip (albeit only within central Bangkok) amounted to about 50-90THB, which was SGD$2 – 5. I literally grabbed UberXs every single time, even for short distances from Nana’s Place to Terminal 21, or even though I could have taken the metro. Spoilt for choice!

Music and Endless Wintering

“Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering.”
― Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

 

Last night saw the revival of my 7-year-old iPod (above), opening an emotional floodgate of memories tagged to songs from another lifetime. Despite being in a badly scratched and battered state after years of abuse in the studio, it played just fine. I recall purchasing this as a fresh undergraduate who had just fallen so hard for dance and was ready to give up the world just so I could dance forever. On days when nothing else made sense but songs and movement, I was plugged into my iPod, lost in beats.

At 19, I was a dance instructor earning my keep. Pretty much everyone I knew joked that I was the part-time student and full-time dancer. I would skip classes for show rehearsals, then stay up all night after dance classes to do a half-assed job on assignments. I neglected a lot (of people and circumstances) just so I could dance. When I bothered to show up in lectures I was the hard-to-reach girl perpetually in baggy Tees and flashy dance shoes, who never stayed to chat with my Professors as I would be rushing off to dance. I’m blessed with parents who never questioned my passion even on days when I got home after rehearsals at 3am and had to be up for school in 5 hours.

Music was my high and music was my low. I danced hard out of passion. It was a vent for all my frustrations and a channel to my joys. In itself a process and not means to an end, I enjoyed dance rehearsals more than the actual showcase. I didn’t dance for fame – I was and am just as happy grooving in my own bedroom, eyes closed. More ways than one, dance is a bridge to emotional states I could never quite cross.

Eventually when I got my psychology degree, I knew my love affair with dance was to end. During my final semester reality struck hard – I was never meant to be a dancer. I was too ambitious and scared to be led by fluffy, unstable dreams. Much as I am passion-driven, I would first and foremost be a logical being with my emotions suppressed. A lot of decisions I now make are rooted in that part of me.

Last night, realization struck that I’m not the same person I was 7 years ago. Just as I often did I was in an open space, plugged into my old iPod, yet the familiar highs and sorrows evaded me while listening to songs I once loved. I used to be so harsh on myself – I would never allow myself to forget a step. Yet I don’t feel a sense of loss now at not remembering dance steps which once branded my muscles like a memory or a scar. Memories fade, as do priorities. Many things which once mattered so much to me, or even once meant the world to me, didn’t matter any more. I had playlists marked ‘To Learn’ or ‘Practice’ with music which were once looped over and over. Now they no longer made any sense. Other songs were sectioned into playlists by genre, mood and artistes, including a playlist just for ‘Recorded Lectures’ which I taped when my heart and soul wasn’t in the classroom with me  Even in an inconsequential iPod my life was logically compartmentalized.

Logic speaks for the mind. Even with evolving circumstances and passing time, I would always be reduced to a state of logical reasoning. Above all, my thoughts overcome my heart. At certain points in time we’re bound to feel lightning flashes of passion and heat – but could they endure the endless wintering of time? Or are they only good at offering escape and a state of trance.

Food for thought on this Sunday night.
I still miss.

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean

[DIARY] WRITER’S BLOCK

Life caught me by the lapels and refused to let go. For a while now I’m almost afraid of looking at watches & clocks, seeing each day draw to an irrevocable close. 2015 is turning out very different from what I imagined, it’s little wonder that I’ve stopped churning out annual resolutions to ‘be better’, ‘work harder’, ‘stay humble’. Rat race is the word, conformity is the endgame, and fighting it is exhausting. But that doesn’t mean we should all be products of this Borsalino hat test – squeezed through a tube for quality checks just to be exactly what is ‘perfect’. I’ve been thinking of trying new things; I haven’t felt fully mentally stretched since cramming for statistics finals in university so perhaps it’s time to kill some brain cells in ways other than drinking. Even if sometimes hard wok goes down the drain and you’re forced to watch it go, learning is never a bad thing. Allow me a brief moment of pessimism but in the end, you’ve just gotta remember that some doors open and others will always remain shut.

In other news, writer’s block is scarily real! 5,000 words has never been so hard for me. Sneak peek of a one-liner in my Golden Point 2015 Submission, maybe.

“He makes no sudden movement, but a hand slips stealthily into his left breast pocket, feeling for the cool metal of his .38 Taurus Model 85. “

Did someone say murder mystery? Or raunchy erotica. Or both.

Also, has anyone found a cure for writer’s block?

xoxo,
Viktoria Jean